That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
