He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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