i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Randomize
