i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize