I smell stomach acid.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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