i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
not ubering you a puppy
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
