the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She needs sedatives and a leash
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize