dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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