And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
