Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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