Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
