why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
