I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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