So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize