Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
