You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
