I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
