youre lurking in front of me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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