so that wasnt chicken after all
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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