I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
