Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
