I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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