Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
