that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
