I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
