i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I won't apologize to a one balled man
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
