I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
