Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
