If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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