um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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