i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
