Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
