Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
