do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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