An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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