I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I love you.
Bad choice
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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