I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
