Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
