U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I need to align my fucking chakras
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
