I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
