He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
