erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
