is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Randomize
