Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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