My brain says no but my pants say off.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize