what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
