Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
