she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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