he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
