That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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