ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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