My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
