this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
