I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
