Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
