no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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