he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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