i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
