youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
