Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
