i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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