so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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