Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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