A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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