I must be too annoying 4 u.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
No subtext here. People are naked.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
