called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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